“Willingness: The First Step in Making Positive Changes”

As I’ve said in prior posts, there are times when my week has me gravitating toward certain themes or concepts. When that happens, I know that the universe is trying to tell me something, and that something is often much-needed inspiration for whatever I am working through in my life.

Willingness

This week, that concept was “willingness.” It seemed that everywhere I looked, this word was working its way into my mind in a myriad of ways: I’ll hear it during a conversation, read about it in a book, come across it in devotionals, or see it in my bible readings.

After being hit on the head about it all last week, I knew I was meant to ponder this word and share my thoughts about it.

I figured a good place to start would be in the dictionary. So, the first thing I found was that looking up willingness takes you to the definition for “willing.” That’s right, there is no specific definition for “willingness,” at least not on the Merriam-Webster online dictionary.

Rather than get annoyed with not being able to find my particular word-of-the-week, I decided to go with it and see what definitions were available to me. And, I found that “willing” actually has several definitions.

Grammar time: “Willing” is adjective, or a word that is used to describe a noun (like a person, perhaps). And, the dictionary definition I found had about 4 different types of meanings. Out of these four, the definition emphasized two words, all in caps: READY and VOLITIONAL.

What that told me was that willingness is to be prepared and open for something new– ready. And, we have choices that we need to make to take us in a new direction– volitional. While we cannot make changes without first being willing, that willingness already exists somewhere within us as long as our goal is something that resonates with who we are and where we believe we are heading.

I then learned that it was only when I headed over to the thesaurus section of my online dictionary that we got, if not a definition, a description of the word “willingness.” This was before the list of synonyms and antonyms related to willingness.

And, the brief definition was actually pretty helpful- willingness is a “cheerful readiness to do something.” This introductory definition of a word I had been thinking about for days helped me to realize what the word was-willingness is a catalyst! And, not just any catalyst- one that is “cheerful” or positively fueled.

This is starting to feel like a vocabulary lesson, but stay with me here. Although we learned about catalysts in high school science classes, when used metaphorically, a catalyst is something that prompts an event. It sparks and ignites it into being.

Willingness in Goal-Planning

When I think about willingness in goal-planning terms, I start to realize that this is a word that has been missing from my planning vocabulary. These past few months we have talked about so many other words that we use to describe our feelings about goal planning. These are all words that help when thinking about setting goals and following through:

• Focus
• Perspective
• Intention
• Motivation
• Resolve
• Momentum
• Discipline

But, what I realized after this week of learning about willingness is that I do not have a chance of following through with my goals or putting into practice any of those motivational words unless I am first willing to do it. Specifically, I need the willingness to grow and make positive changes an choices that keep propelling me toward that goal.

How willingness works

Willingness often comes about when we feel inspired to make a change in our lives. The change can be big or small, and it can involve any aspect of our lives: our family, relationships, careers, self-care, etc.

Change often starts with a seed- an idea. We plant it in our minds and hearts, but nothing happens until we water the seed with the willingness to act. It signals a change of heart that in turns acts as a catalyst for change in our routines, reactions, and interactions with others.

For some folks, willingness comes easy. You know these people- they are Type-A, organized, driven, even relentless. They have an internal source of energy and enthusiasm for whatever they set their mind to, and they reach their goals seemingly effortlessly.

Even for us, our willingness to do certain things is an easy task. Of course, for me, these are often things I wish I wasn’t willing to do. For example, I may willingly eat foods that aren’t good for me or I’ll allow others to push my buttons, willingly giving away my peace of mind.

However, willingness, when directed at making a positive change or achieving a goal, is something that takes practice, especially when the change or goal is a challenge. But, by seeing it as a catalyst that can take an idea or inspiration and convert it into action that we’re willing to stick with, we can use it to propel us to our goal’s ultimate destination.

What we need to recognize is that having a willingness- this desire and open-mindedness to do something meaningful, is not enough on its own. It requires three components: honesty, humility and faith (or hope) in the possibility of what we desire to bring about.

3 Components of Willingness:

1. Honesty– Unless we are being truly honest with ourselves, we may try to set goals that do not really resonate with our personal interests or desires, or may try to make these changes for the wrong reasons. For example, wanting to impress a group of friends is a shallow reason to try to lose weight and may lead to giving up halfway through the first week of diet and exercise. Deciding to lose weight because we truly feel unhealthy and badly about ourselves is a more honest reason to set that goal. Ultimately, being willing to make changes in our lives requires being honest about those aspects of ourselves and how we’re living that aren’t working for us or need improvement.

2. Humility– Approaching our goals with a sense of humility can help us find the willingness to not only embark on the process but stick with it. Humility simply means that we understand that we need to something and may even need help in doing it. Or, it may just mean that we understand that we have more to learn either about ourselves or from others. By approaching difficult goals with humility- perhaps accepting that we need to make a difficult change because doing so will improve our relationships with others or ourselves- we can not only embark on a challenging journey, but stay on course even when obstacles are thrown in our path. Humility also allows us to let go of old habits and thinking patterns by admitting they are not working for us.

3. Faith– While this can certainly mean that you invite the universe, creator, higher power, (or whatever you believe governs what you cannot control), to help you to become more open and willing to embrace the things that will bring positive change to your life, I’m really referring to that sense of hope that we have when we try something new. Faith takes it one step further as it encourages us to believe that what we envision happening is possible and can become a reality.

Obstacles are a Given

As always, there can be obstacles to our developing the willingness to get started on and stick with a goal. These blocks are effectively the opposite of what it means to be willing.

When I looked up willingness in the thesaurus, it provided both the synonyms and the “near” antonyms (I guess it has no real antonyms?) for this word. And, while there were many words that came up on this list of opposites, I found that one word that didn’t make the list could sum it up pretty well: willfulness.

While willingness to do what is right requires an open and humble state of mind, willfulness is when we are at our most rebellious. I know that when I’m being willful, I’m not as open to listening to criticism or even my own intuition about a situation.

Moreover, willfulness can come about during negative times in our lives such as when we are feeling angry or resentful. That lends itself to rebelling against doing things we know we should be doing and instead engaging in negative thinking or activities.

Luckily, I find that the older I get, the less willful and rebellious I am about the things in my life that I’m called to do. That doesn’t mean I’m immune to willfulness, and it often makes an entrance when I’m resisting something my heart is saying I should do but my head is fighting.

At the heart of it all is the fact that willingness to make positive changes is a choice. It is up to us to choose it over easier alternatives.

Cultivating Willingness

So, you may be asking, if willingness is something that we can choose, how do we go about choosing it? And, that’s a fair question, given that willingness is a both concept and feeling and inspiration all in one.

Here are some ideas for how you can cultivate a willingness to pursue the changes you wish to make in your life:

• Find your intention. As we do at the start of any goal-planning venture, we need to think about the why behind the decision to pursue a certain goal. Your reasons for wanting to do something can often spark the willingness to get started and follow it through.
• Focus on the desired outcome. Just thinking about the end result can promote your willingness to embark on whatever steps you need to take to reach that result. You can focus on the outcome in a number of ways:
  • Visualization– close your eyes and picture the desired result. Be as detailed and specific as you can about each aspect of the outcome you are hoping to achieve. You can do this as you would any daydreaming or during times of prayer or meditation.
  • Vision Board– Create a picture collage of images that represent the outcome you hope to achieve. Place it somewhere you are likely to see it often.
  • Journal. Write about the changes you wish to make. Writing things down is a powerful way to bring about what you intend.
• Track your progress. Remember in a prior post about refocusing goals, where I note that experts say the best goals are measurable? That is because when you are able to measure your progress, you are more likely to stay the course. Tracking your progress can involve habit trackers- for goals that involve creating new habits; writing down steps taken or weigh-in states- for fitness goals; or just monitoring your daily mood in a calendar with sad, neutral, or happy faces, if your goal is one of self-care or self-improvement. Your willingness to continue on a path can depend on feeling like you’re moving forward, so find ways to track the progress you’ve made.

One More Grammar Lesson

You knew I needed to keep going once I got started. One of the more interesting ways of looking at the word will (which is at the root of willing and willingness) is as a verb, and one of the most powerful ways to use this as a verb is as follows:

When I think of willing something, I picture bringing something into being or creating. Once we become willing, we open the door for an idea or inspiration to materialize into a reality.

As such, willingness is ultimately the result of both inspiration and our choices. While we sometimes feel we have no power or control over our situations, it is our willingness to react differently and or take a different path that makes all the difference.

Being willing requires that we remain open to doing things differently so that we can try something new that leads to a positive change in our lives. Willingness, in short, is the key to making changes in our lives a reality.

So, as we head into the second half of the year, think about all you have been through and where you want to be. There are many situations out of your control, but for those things you can change, focus on your willingness to do so.

What words or concepts have inspired you lately? Are you setting new goals for this second half of the year? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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**Image credits- Tree reflection, “My Journal,” and woman journaling images found on Pixabay.