Week 4 of the #StayAtHomeChallenge: The Less is More Spring Break Where We Found Joy
Although the kids have been out of school since mid-March, the school district announced that it would be observing our regularly scheduled spring break this week. At first, I wondered what the point was, but I soon realized that this was a needed break for our educators who plan to launch online school starting Monday 4/13.
But, agreeing that perhaps we all needed a change of pace, I decided that I would get in the spring break spirit and change up our routine for the week. Because I had too much work to do from my full-time job to take an entire week off, the plan was for me to work part-time this week and spend the rest of my time with the kids.
Good Intentions
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media about how to create a really exciting and meaningful spring break experience even though we are all stuck at home. Being the overachieving mom that I am, I figured I would jump on board and try to create a unique at-home experience.
I mean, why not make lemons out of lemonade and create memories for my kids that would help them remember this time as one full of wonder and surprises? With that in mind, I had every intention of brainstorming fun and unique ideas to create an experience that would be a virtual spring break to rival all other stay-cations.
There’s No Need for a Busy Spring Break
The plan last weekend was to get the kids to sit down and help me come up with some activities we could do at home that they would hopefully enjoy. I had a lot to get done, though that weekend, so by the time Sunday night rolled around, it was pretty clear that it might just be me doing all the planning.
As a mom, this happens a lot. I plan out everything for our family from meals and chores to activities and events. It’s sort of like being a cruise director on a ship, which sometimes feels like it’s sinking under the weight of all our usual obligations.
However, when the weekend started to come to a close last week, I had a pretty eye-opening revelation. After three weeks of carefully-scheduled work and school activities, no one really wanted to plan more stuff to do. And, the one who felt the most strongly about that was, surprisingly, me!
This revelation fit in so well with what I’ve been learning this week from Rachel Hollis in the #Next90Challenge I’ve committed to doing. The theme this week is Joy, and I feel like there isn’t a better focus for this time in our lives to help balance out all the scary and challenging things we’re going through right now.
As I worked through the videos and resources included in this week’s challenge, I found that being honest with myself is a way I can bring some joy to my life. And, I could not have been more joyful with what we did this week, which was to keep it simple and just do less.
Good News for Us Moms: Less is More
First, I will say that when I think of spring break, what comes to mind is people doing stuff: going to vacation spots like beaches, parks, or resorts. But, the phrase has two words- spring and BREAK. That last one made me realize that we haven’t really taking advantage of what it’s meant to be, which is a break from the regular routine of go, go, go family life!
Instead of coming up with memory-making activities every day, I told the kids to just finish up work on a couple of outstanding projects they had, practice their instruments to keep up their skills, and do one chore a day. After that, the time was theirs to whatever they wished.
Not surprisingly, the week went really well. The slower pace meant we could sleep in a little more, ride bikes, go on walks, and watch movies together. This went so much better than a week filled with daily activities that I know I would have had to force on my kids and that they may not have enjoyed doing. Or, perhaps one of them would have enjoyed the activity while the other hated it.
We totally took it easy, and by having only a couple of hours a day doing things that had to get done, with the rest of the day made up of unstructured time, we took a true break during what has otherwise been a stressful spring season.
Here’s the gist of my great revelation. I gave myself and am passing along to all moms permission to keep our vacations and breaks simple. If your family really enjoys having every minute of a vacation or holiday filled with activities, then great. But, if taking it easy would bring you more joy- just plan to do less!
Assigning Myself Activities Instead
In the past, when we’ve all been at home, I would have activities for the kids that ranged from cooking something to making crafts. This would keep them occupied and give me some free time. This week, I turned the old model on its head.
Although I invited the kids to join me, I mostly assigned myself some things that I had been wanting to do or was encouraged to try thanks to the #Next90Challenge. And, of course, these all have a self-care purpose. Here’s some of what I did this past week:
- Post-Quarantine Wish List– Not sure how else to phrase this, but it’s kind of like a bucket list, except I listed out things I would otherwise be able to do if we weren’t in quarantine, and they are ones I will plan to do when this is all over. My list included things like getting together with friends and family, going to the library, checking out a museum, or catching a live show. These are little things I never felt I had much time to fit into our schedule, but I’m learning I took them for granted and plan to do them when I’m able.
- Joy List– This is directly from the #Next90Challenge (it’s not too late to join the free challenge. Click here to sign up). Rachel Hollis encouraged us this week to write a list of all the things that bring us joy- from the big stuff (like traveling the world) to sitting on a screened porch drinking coffee. Rachel’s advice is so helpful. She said that to increase the joy in your life, find ways to work in some of the easy and everyday small things that bring you joy. For me, that means making a hot cup of tea, chatting with a friend, and watching funny 80’s movies.
- Vision Boards– This is something that’s been on my to do list since January. Each year, my PowerSheets planner (although the one-year version is sold out, the 6-month planner is still in stock! Check it out here) has a vision board page in the beginning prep pages where you can use photos, words, and stickers to represent your intentions for the year. I use it as an opportunity to cut up and recycle my Real Simple magazines- this makes it easier to part with them and justifies placing them in the recycling bin. I didn’t get the chance to work on that page this January and saw my opportunity to tackle it this week. Each day, I cut a few words, phrases, quotes and photos that best represented what I wanted for me and my family. And, I cut so many that I was able to easily fill my vision board page as well as a poster board that I’m now keeping in my closet so I can view it each morning and night. It’s not only a great picture representation of where I’d like my life to be, it was just fun to cut and paste to create a collage– something I haven’t done in ages.
- Reestablished Positive Routines. As I mentioned in last week’s post, part of how I’m coping with the loss of life before quarantine is by returning to the self-care activities that have worked for me in the past. Since I had a little more time, I was able to really get back into the habit of doing these things, and they were so helpful. I listened to several inspirational podcasts (RISE Podcast and Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations are some of my faves), meditated every morning with a soft-belly breathing exercise my therapist taught me, wrote faithfully in my morning and evening journals, listed gratitude both morning and night (with the intention of really feeling grateful for each thing I listed), walked or stationary cycled every day, drank more water, and ate and slept better.
- Hung Out With My Kids. This is the most important thing I did this week. Although they each have things that they like to do on their own- Calico Critters and FaceTime chats for my daughter, or YouTube and Legos for my son, I made sure to spend time with them. We watched lots of movies this week, I watched them play collaborative video games, and we went outside to exercise together. This was so much better than a forced activity that would look great on FaceBook but not really bring us closer together.
After a week of being really laid back about how we spend our free time, my best advice is to know yourself and your family. Ask, what brings you joy? And, then, find ways to work that in to your daily lives.
Here’s how the week looked:
Saturday. After last week’s blog post, I went to the kitchen and decided to be a frugal cook. I took the rotisserie chicken my husband brought home, removed the meat for soup and salad, and made a stock out of the bones. We had some veggies that were starting to look sad, so into the pot they went with some fresh herbs and spices. A few hours later and we had 2 and a half pints of homemade stock. We also changed our April décor but kept it super simple– just our Easter flag and wreath went on the front door, and our spring floral table cloth went in the dining room. My daughter took our old Easter vinyl clings and decorated the kitchen window.
Sunday. We did our second week of remote Sunday School and got to chat about our faith with some of our church members. After that, it was time for virtual church. As it was the first Sunday of the month, in addition to being Palm Sunday, we did at-home communion. My daughter was so excited. She helped get the grape juice and bread ready, and she made sure that we distributed our sacraments to one another.
Monday. After deciding that we would do half-days of work, the week started at a much slower pace. I kept a part-time schedule and made sure the kids did the few things they needed to do, while I got a half days’ worth of work in. I also focused on the 5 to Thrive for my #Next90Challenge, which began with drinking a lot of water. That afternoon, we decided to watch a family movie. While I prepped dinner, we tuned into Disney+ and saw Onward for the first time. As always, Pixar and Disney nailed it.
Tuesday. I started working on my joy list for the #Next90Challenge. I came up with 15 items that bring me joy and was pretty proud of myself, as the assignment was to have at least 10. The kids and I continued our Disney+ streak and watched a movie I had enjoyed when growing up- Sister Act.
Wednesday. By mid-week, the new schedule was feeling pretty good. Although I was still working a several hours a day, my time was pretty flexible and had lots of built-in breaks. To balance out the walks I took each day, I did the workout created by my physical therapist, which helps to keep my plantar fasciitis in check. Thanks to Disney+, which recommends movies, we watched Robin Williams in Jack. Have to admit, that movie always makes me a little teary, and I love the message: life is short so make the most of it.
Thursday. After working more hours than I had intended, I decided to put together my PowerSheets vision board page with some of the clippings from my Real Simple magazine. As someone who used to scrapbook and enjoys paper planners, I found it both relaxing and satisfying to rearrange the papers and glue them down into a collage that best showcased my dreams for this year and beyond. With so many leftover cuttings, I created a larger board using poster paper.
Friday. By the end of the week, I was thoroughly spoiled. I only had a few meetings to conduct in the morning and had the rest of the day to spend with the kids. My husband teleworked that day as well, so we were all at the house. I did some prayers and bible reading for Good Friday. That evening, I joined in on a Zoom happy hour with my work colleagues, and noted that hanging out with them is something I need to add to my post-quarantine wish list. My husband got us some sushi take-out while the kids ate Ramen, and I finished the night watching a funny movie.
Lessons learned from this week:
It’s called a break for a reason. There’s no need to have a Pinterest-worthy spring break staycation if everyone is just going to resent projects they are forced to do. I think I bonded more with my kids this week by giving them some breathing room and allowing them to just play than I would have if I made them do more “meaningful activities.” The sad thing was, when I told the kids I purposely chose to schedule less to do so they could play, they apologized as though their bad attitudes about pre-scheduled activities had anything to do with it. It was a good lesson for us all to say it’s okay to just have down time.
We love movies and TV. There, I said it and I won’t apologize for it. For some families, their joy comes in hiking or going to the beach, or playing sports together. And, while we enjoy doing those things on occasion, we have the most fun hanging out on the couch and laughing at some well-timed jokes told by good actors. We need to own the things that we love and make no apologies when we do them.
We have really enjoyed watching movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Disney+. We have also been able to watch our church services on the Vimeo app. And, we do all of this using our Amazon Fire Stick. We have two now, and the newer one has a remote that works so much better than our old one. Totally recommend getting one for streaming movies and TV!
It’s okay to do some self-care on your own. Not everyone needs to join in on the self-care activities. I found that when I asked the kids to try to write down a joy or post-quarantine wish list, they just rolled their eyes. It’s spring break, not school, so by easing off of them, they enjoyed their time more, and it gave me the opportunity to just focus on my own self-care activities, some of which I did in the living room where they played their video games. And, they saw me taking care of myself while I let them find their joy, so it was a good chance to model positive behaviors. Win-win.
Focusing on joy is NOT selfish. Our lives are so different today than they were a month ago, and many people are experiencing great loss and pain. That said, life is lived best when there is a ying to the yang. For now, I’m trying to balance the anxiety and grief with some things that make me happy. We have no idea what the future holds, so remaining positive and focusing on gratitude is a coping mechanism that will serve us well.
How did you spend your “spring break” this year? Are you finding that less is more in this quarantine season? I hope that you all are finding your joy and using all the self-care tools you have available to you. Have tips to share? Leave a comment below!
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**Image credits- field of dandelions found on Pixabay.
