Quarantine Update- Week 7 of the #StayAtHomeChallenge: How an Organized Mind Creates a Hopeful Heart

It’s still going on. At least where I live in North Carolina, we have a shelter-in-place order still in place.

And, for us, it was another exhausting week in quarantine. The kids had projects due, and I had deadlines and grading to complete for the class I teach at night.

The week was rushed and went by in such a blur, I didn’t think there would be much of a theme for me to ponder. But, as usual, the universe proved me wrong.

Yes, I’m still doing the #Next90Challenge. I tend to stick with things when I start them, so I took what little extra time I had and worked through the theme for the week: organization.

And, by the end of the week, I realized that I had learned some really important lessons about hope, faith, and patience (mind you, I am constantly learning about these lessons) and how they come about more easily when you are organized.

Organization

The Hollis Co #Next90Challenge (found here, in case you want to sign up- still free and still helpful!) has a different theme for each week. And, this week’s theme was organization.

When I think about that word, I’m brought back to my FlyLady days (her organization system can be found here). It was all about decluttering your life and home so you could avoid living in chaos. I really enjoyed the FlyLady method, although I admit I was able to keep up with it better when I had a smaller house and my kids were little.

Since that time, organization has been a concept that is really close to my heart. And, this time in quarantine has made staying organized impossible challenging. 😉

Like many other people I know, we have had to shift around how we do things at home. I mostly work in my dining room or guest bedroom during the week, depending on whether I need to monitor school activities or need to have a confidential video-conference for work.

As a result, our space is a bit messier because we have 3-4 people at a time having to spread out their school and work materials in spaces that were not designed to serve as school or office space. And, it makes me sad because I made sure my office downtown was always inviting and organized.

That said, Ms. Hollis broke down her lecture on organization into three parts, and having an organized space was just the first. But, she didn’t spend a lot of time on this aspect of being organized.

Of course, she encouraged us to clear a part of our home that’s been turned into what the FlyLady would call a “Hotspot,” a spot that’s become the dumping ground for all kinds of stuff that doesn’t belong there. You know this place in your home, although if you’re anything like me, you find it’s really easy to ignore all the stuff that piles up there.

Instead, Rachel Hollis focused more on the other two forms of organization: mental and directional. In short, decluttering your mind and making sure your direction in life is clear.

Ms. Hollis’s suggestions for having a clear mind include the writing I do in the morning. Basically, she recommends starting each day with a gratitude list, a list of your dreaming-big goals, and a focus on which goal you plan to achieve first. It takes 10 minutes to do this, and I’ve tried it for several months with some successes.

For direction, she provided advice that is included in the planner she sells at Target. What I took away from it was to not only think about what you have to get done, but to also to be aware of what might hold you back or get in the way that day (procrastination, distractions, etc).

She made some really good points. Basically, if you are remaining clear-minded and focused, you are more likely to continue thriving, even during times of uncertainty or crisis.

Remaining patiently hopeful

As I was slowly making my way through this week’s #Next90Challenge lesson, I became hyper-aware of how many things are not in my control. Again, not a new lesson but one that I find myself repeating.

For example, as I mentioned in last week’s post, we put out a hummingbird feeder last week and none of the little birds were interested in the nectar. So, this week, we put out some homemade nectar. (A simple sugar solution made of 1 part sugar to 4 parts water.)

I used to live in a part of town where we would four to five hummingbirds at time visit our feeder. I would have to refill the feeder two to three times a week to keep up with the demand.

After moving to our current home, we didn’t see hummingbirds. We put out a feeder and never saw any of the little birds in our backyard, so we eventually gave up. That was 10 years ago. It wasn’t until last week when we saw one hovering outside the kitchen window that we decided to try again.

And then, we had to wait . . . again

Waiting is so hard when you are expecting something better or anxious to for unpleasant circumstances to improve. Our little test in patience about the hummingbirds was a smaller version of the waiting we are now doing in quarantine.

For many people, we know this is an excruciating time. They are not just waiting for the chance to work in their old work spaces, they are hoping to get back to work altogether and are just trying to survive in the meantime. For others, the waiting is making time get away from them. The days run together as the routine and scenery look the same for weeks on end.

Our experience with the hummingbirds was an interesting test of faith. We are glad that we tried setting out a feeder again, and it paid off. We were rewarded by having a couple of hummingbirds frequent our feeder.  But, how much sooner would we have seen these extraordinary little birds had we not given up that first spring season of living in our home?

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It reminded me of some of the lessons I’m learning in the Hollis Co. challenge- in times of uncertainty, we have a choice: either lose hope, panic, and allow yourself to despair. Or, you can approach each day with faith that things are going to work out in the long-run, and see the promise in the things around you.

Remember my second post on this blog where I described how a neighbor’s car crashed into our garage? It not only damaged our home, it launched a large potted plant into the side garden, crashing through bushes, including a small rose bush that grew near the front railing.

Another sign of hope this week was finding that our little rose bush did survive that crash. At the beginning of the week, I didn’t even notice the small buds that foreshadowed the lovely flowers that were to follow. By Friday, when I went for a walk, I ambled down the front steps and saw a little rose that had just opened up!

What does hope and faith have to do with organization?

In order to see the good things that are in front of us, we need to have clear eyes. And, I think the same holds true for having a clear mind. This is how mental and directional organization impact our ability to see the good in life.

I have found that when I choose to wallow or despair (yes, it’s a choice), I am less likely to see the blessings in my life. But, when I try to remain calm, positive, and focused, that is when the world reveals that everything is in order and things happen in their right time.

(Now, don’t get me wrong. When we have experienced events that are traumatic or cause grief, we need to accept and work through those feelings. But, I know myself, and there are times when it is easier to throw myself a pity party rather than getting back up and redirecting my attention to the things I know I need to do.)

I know I cannot control certain outcomes. What I can control is my attitude and reaction to my circumstances. And, when I take care of myself, my circumstances seem to work out for the better.

5 things to promote a hopeful and faithful outlook:

• Documenting gratitude. I write down 5 things I’m truly grateful for every night. And, every weekday, I write another 5 things in my morning journal. These are sometimes big things (having a job, a home, food), but mostly they are small things (managing to photograph hummingbirds).
• Setting motivating goals. Every day, I write down my big-picture goals. Some involve things I want to do with my kids before they leave the nest, while others are about my own personal growth. By remembering each day what motivates me, I feel prepared to tackle the day with intention.
• Taking care of your body. Nearly every day, I do a yoga routine in the morning, and I try to do some other exercise, either stationary cycling or walking. I also make sure to drink a lot of water, and I try to nourish myself with healthy foods. When I fail properly care for my body, I can feel it—my joints or muscles start to hurt, I start to get more headaches, and I have no energy.
• Taking care of your mind. In the same way that we need to eat nourishing food and get proper exercise to feel well physically, filling your mind with positive information can have a nourishing effect on your mental health and outlook. For me, that means avoiding negative information in the news or social media. Instead, I listen to positive podcasts such as Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations and Rachel Hollis’s Rise podcast.
• Taking care of the soul. That part of you which is connected to what many call God, the universe, or a high power, also needs to be nurtured. There are many ways to do this. Meditation, prayer, and reading scripture, are just some of the ways to connect to something bigger than ourselves. There is probably no greater way to foster a sense of hope and faith than to connect spiritually with the Being many believe is in charge of all we are experiencing. That connection can also remind us that we don’t have to carry the burden of feeling like we need to be in charge of everything. This can provide the relief that comes from knowing that something out there we can rely on to carry the weight of the world for us.

When I have taken the time to declutter my space, mind, and goals, I find that I have room for seeds of hope and faith to sprout. Clarity in all of these areas are key to having the patience to wait for the good things that will eventually come our way.

As always, here’s how the week looked:

Saturday. After drafting my blog post for the week, I cooked a simple meal: sweet potatoes, green beans, and grilled coconut sugar/mustard ribs (a paleo version of an old Rachel Ray Magazine recipe). After that it was time to paint! I was so excited to break out my acrylics, and I decided to try out a new technique– painting clouds!

Sunday. I stayed up late painting the night before (a sure sign that painting is a good activity for me- it takes my mind off of things- but I should start on my projects earlier in the evening). So, that Sunday, I was dragging a bit. That said, we did join our Sunday School class over Skype and had a virtual church service. After that, we were so happy to get in the car and take part in a drive-by parade for a church friend recently diagnosed with cancer. Just seeing all of our lovely church family members in their cars lifted our spirits! I ended the day by grading a paper and working in my faith planner, both writing out my lessons learned and setting my spiritual goals for the week. (For more information about how to set up a faith planner, see my post here.)

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Monday. I was pleased to have a video session with my therapist, who continued to encourage my foray into self-compassion (which I discussed in last week’s blog post). At lunch time, we were super excited to take a break and watch the live streaming, virtual Goonies cast reunion, hosted by Josh Gad. I smiled so much my cheeks were hurting by the end of it! I was in such a good mood and had much more energy for the day, so I managed to grade another paper and start my PowerSheets prep work for May.

Tuesday. This was my sister’s birthday, and I was glad to catch her on the phone and get to chat with her a bit. I had a lot of work to do for my day job, so I was grateful to be able to fit in some grading and finishing my PowerSheets prep for the upcoming month.

If you have any hummingbirds in your area, I highly recommend setting out a feeder and seeing if you can attract them to your backyard. They are such lovely little birds and are fascinating to watch. Here is one that is very similar to the one that has attracted birds to our backyard this year:

Wednesday. This was a very exciting day, as I received the items I had ordered from Erin Condren, including the On The Go Folio system! I was like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. And, the notebooks I purchased for the folio did not disappoint. I plan to use this for a group I attend and purchased the petite monthly planner, two Wonder Woman notebooks, and a blank petite notebook to go in it. To make the day even better, I managed to take a few pictures of the hummingbirds that came to our feeder this week.

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Thursday. I wound up taking a couple of hours off of work so I could prepare for and participate in a school board appeal hearing. Our child has medical issues, and we are hoping to have her transferred from her assigned middle school to one that is closer to her doctors. I was so nervous about arguing the appeal that day, but am so grateful for the incredible support I received from friends, who gave me much-needed feedback on my argument and supporting materials. I also finished grading papers that night, which always feels like a relief.

Friday. I took half the day off to finalize grades with my co-professor, which was a challenge since we conducted the entire meeting by video conference. Afterwards, I was able to get work done on a few of my projects and decided to go for a walk before dinner. On that walk, I was rewarded for my patience- the sun was out, I saw my rose bush coming to life for the first time since the car accident, and there were literally bunnies and chipmunks frolicking in my neighborhood. I felt like Snow White! When I got back from my walk, I found my May devotional waiting for me in the mailbox, which meant I didn’t have to call the publisher to find out if something had happened to my subscription. I even managed to hop on to the Zoom happy hour one of my co-workers hosted that evening.

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Lessons learned from this week:

No matter how much I worry, things usually work out. I am a Type-A person, who always feel that I have to be in control, even when things are out of my control. This week reminded me that letting go of my need to control will not only leave me feel less stressed, it allows the universe to surprise me with little things like a blooming rose bush I thought had been destroyed.

Documenting my daily wins is a great way to end the day. At the beginning of April, I decided that using the monthly layout in my PowerSheets planner as a win-tracker would be a good way to use those empty calendar pages. What I did not expect was the sense of accomplishment I would feel, both at the end of each day as I decided what to include in the planner, and at the end of the month, when I looked back and saw that I accomplished something, however small, each day. But, that’s a discussion for another post entirely!

Quarantine has made some things more doable. As much as we are all feeling hamstrung by having to shelter-in-place, I am doing some things that I never would have given myself the time to do in the past. I have joined an online group, have attended more office happy hours in the past few weeks than I have in the 15 years I’ve worked at my office, and I’m making time to take a daily walk in addition to my morning yoga. These are things I convinced myself I didn’t have the time or energy to do before we went into isolation. But, with Zoom, and not having to worry about child care, I am grateful for the communication options that make the meetings so much more convenient.

As always, I’m hoping everyone is doing well as we are over halfway through our second month of sheltering in place. How are you doing? Are you struggling with being a positive leader in your home? Any suggestions for us moms who are struggling with this each day? Leave a comment below.

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** Plant growing through adversity photo by Faris Mohammed on Unsplash