Coronavirus Update- Week 2 of the #StayAtHomeChallenge (A Tough Gig for Working Moms)

I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’m already struggling with staying at home every day with no end in sight. Now, I feel really guilty saying this because I know how privileged and fortunate I am.

First, I’m really fortunate that I can telework and keep my kids home with me. It means I have a steady income, which is something a lot of folks don’t have these days. And I can make sure my kids are safe.

Second, my kids are not babies or toddlers (I have a tween and a teen). I don’t know how moms of little ones are surviving right now. They take so much time and energy, and having to keep them in the house must be making them act out more. My kids had the added benefit of having teachers provide them with some structured meeting time.

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Finally, I’m not alone during the day. I work with students who are pretty much on their own right now, and I know how lucky I am to have my family with me during this time. As much cabin fever as we’ve been feeling, we still joke around and can have a good time.

So, yeah. I know I have no reason to complain, but sheltering-in-place while a health crisis plays out in the rest of the world is just really disturbing. And, I’m on high anxiety as a result.

Thinking there would be more down time.

I guess part of it is that I went into this with different expectations. I listened to all the moms who were saying to try to find the silver lining- this is extra time with the kids that I should be enjoying. So, I thought we would have more time for doing puzzles or playing games.

I also thought I would have more time for myself. And, it made sense theoretically. By working from home, I’m technically saving myself about an hour of commute time I used to spend driving to my office.

My evening commitments have also been cancelled, so no more driving kids to their church and music activities. Also, my evening class has gone to remote learning, so again, more time for me, right? Wrong.

It turns out that trying to work 40 hours a week while keeping my kids somewhat focused on their schoolwork, answering their questions if they have any about what they’re learning on line, and making sure they’re well-fed and hydrated, has totally eaten up a good portion of my work day. Not only that, they are a really fun distraction. I like talking with them.

I now do as much as I can during the day, and end up making time up in the evening to squeeze out the last few hours. I mean, on the one hand I want to cut myself some slack- this is not a normal situation, so I cannot expect to keep a normal work routine. On the other hand, if I’m getting paid my full salary, I feel it’s only fair I put in my full hours.

Accepting my anxiety

Another distraction that makes it hard to work is the paranoia I have about the virus itself. I seriously worry I have the virus every time I cough or feel my lungs tightening up. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I even took to checking my temperature a few times a day. Not good. (Remember, for accurate and updated information about the Coronavirus, please go to the CDC website linked here).

I’m also worried about my loved ones. It doesn’t help that my husband has to drive into work every day where he could potentially be exposed to the virus. Since we are all asthmatics taking some form of medication to keep our lungs functioning, I am so worried that this virus will not be mild cases for us.

This has made me a crazy woman when it comes to cleanliness and hygiene. I’m making my husband march straight to the bathroom when he gets home so he can shower and change out of what feels like coronavirus-tainted clothing. And, my kids are sick of hearing me say it, but they have got to stop touching their faces!

I know there are some things I need to do get back on track, and I’m hoping that this weekend will give me the time and space to try it. First, I need to go back to therapeutic journaling, like I’ve written about in prior posts like this one here. I’ve used the excuse of a lack of time to justify not writing, but really, I can totally squeeze in a few minutes of writing about my feelings to get a handle on them.

I also know that I can use my PowerSheets goal planner, like I mentioned here, to help figure out ways to stay on track as the days wear on. So, I’m going to reevaluate my goals for next month with an eye toward maintaining my sanity during our time in isolation.

Here’s how the week looked:

Saturday– So, my anxiety went up shortly after I wrote last week’s post (link here) , when I learned that a friend from high school was recovering from the virus. It looks like it did a number on him, and he’s in really good shape- a marathon runner, in fact. As a result, I decided to focus on the only thing I feel I can control during times like this- the cleanliness of my house. I cleaned like a maniac and made my family join me.

Sunday– I continued the cleaning frenzy but, I took a break to try our church’s virtual worship service. It was exactly what we needed. I didn’t realize how much I missed our church and just seeing our worship team was a needed break for us. My daughter particularly loved it, pretending to be the acolyte as she lit and later snuffed out the candle we used during our private worship session. I’ll be honest- I teared up that night thinking of how much I miss seeing my church family.

We were able to access the worship service video by adding the Vimeo app to our Amazon Firestick, which has been a lifesaver since we’ve been cooped up indoors. Check it out here: (#Ad)

Monday– It was back to virtual school for my kids and telework for myself. We stayed mostly on task, which was made possible by the teachers who set times to hold remote classroom sessions for the kids. My daughter makes no secret about loving school and missing her class. My son, a typical teen, wouldn’t admit it, but even he seemed relieved to have times meeting with his teachers and classmates.

Tuesday– We all struggled to stay on task. I got a good bit done for work, but I felt stressed and anxious the whole time. During the evening, my co-teacher and I taught our first remote class from our homes, and it was not without its problems. We were on video-conferencing software, and we had a hard time getting everyone in the same virtual classroom. We eventually figured it out, but it was much more time-consuming than we anticipated.

Wednesday– I did what I could, but I decided I would call in my word of the year- Grace. I was only able to get a few hours of work done before I got a headache and exhaustion took over. The kids were burned out as well, so after lunch, we called it a day. They went to play while I laid down to sleep off the headache. A few hours of sick leave was exactly what I needed as was the Zoom call I had with some of my friends that night. That probably did more to get me back in a better state of mind than anything else.

Thursday– After a day of going easy on myself and the kids, we were in better shape and ready to get back to work. I came up with a different game plan for one of my cases, touched based with some students, and even my children were more focused. One nice surprise was the Erin Condren haul that arrived. I decided to “help the economy” and take advantage of the St. Patrick’s Day sale the week before. I even ordered some of the Wonder Woman products they recently launched. (To save 10% off of your first Erin Condren purchase use this referral code).

Friday– We made it to the end of the week! Both the kids and I were way more productive. The kids finished up a lot of their school projects and I made some progress on my cases and work with students. The only thing I realized was that we didn’t get as much done on household tasks as I had wanted, but that’s okay, right? Right!

Lessons learned from this week:

• Let go of the need to be productive. Most working moms I know are total overachievers, and I’m no exception. However, at the end of the day, I had to admit to myself that I have limitations: I’m not a public-school teacher and have never homeschooled my kids. More than that, my kids are not going to backslide in IQ points if they are not doing school-related work 7 hours a day. It’s okay to let it go.
• It’s okay to take leave time even when you’re already at home. Just because I’m home doesn’t mean that I can’t take leave time if I need it for self-care. I am honest about my hours, so when I couldn’t complete the time I needed to put in a full day on Wednesday, I used my leave time. I mean, that’s what it’s there for, right?
• Making time to socialize is important. I felt so much better after chatting with my friends on Wednesday night. Setting aside time to spend with friends, even virtually, is just as important as making sure my kids are getting work done and I’m putting in my work hours.
• The kids need to socialize with their friends, too. And, that social time should be outside of a classroom setting. I learned that my introverted son had not been responding to text messages and hadn’t reached out to his friends, so that became a priority. I’ve also been setting up FaceTime calls between my daughter and her friends.
• Sometimes it’s best to ignore anxiety-producing news. Part of why I was feeling so ill in the evenings was watching the news and getting the latest statistics on how the virus is spreading across the country. I find that I feel much better when I live in blissful ignorance of the specifics. So, I have made a conscious effort to limit my news exposure and I felt so much better when I went to bed each night.
• My kids are quirky as heck. They are so funny and random. I noticed that you can tell whether my daughter is content depending on the type of music she’s humming. She hums a happy tune when she’s eating. And, she will hum tunes that sound like the soundtrack to an action movie when she’s doing a fun project. I also realized that my son is way more fidgety than I ever imagined and it all involves touching his face! I’ve never spent so much time telling him to stop rubbing his eyes, biting his nails, or messing with his retainers. At the end of the day, I enjoy hanging out with them and learning about all their silly quirks!

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I will say again what I said last week: I hope everyone is continuing to stay home if they can and is safe and healthy. Are you finding yourself working, homeschooling, distance learning, distance teaching? Are you anxious about all that’s happening and need a place to vent? Leave a comment.

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