Put it in Writing: the Best Supplies and Tips for Journaling

Everywhere I turn people are talking about the high stress lives they live and what self-care routines they can use to ease that stress. This is particularly so for most women I know, whether they are married, single, have kids, don’t have kids, work outside the home, or work from home. It doesn’t really matter what you do during the day or what season you are in, there are always going to be stressors that impact your daily life.

No one is immune to stress.

As a mom who works one-two jobs during the year and has a child with medical issues, life sometimes feels overwhelming. As I mentioned in a prior post, a couple of years ago my stress levels got completely out of control, and I think a big part of it was my “I’m fine” response to life.

It’s so hard to be honest about your feelings these days. First, there’s the guilt that comes with knowing that you should feel blessed. I mean, we live in the Western world with food, shelter, clean water, education, and opportunities galore. For moms, there’s also the added blessing of having kids- either ones we had biologically or ones we were fortunate to be able to bring into our families. We know that not everyone can have these things. When the very things that we have worked for start becoming stressors in our lives, we rarely feel free to complain about them. I mean, with so many things to be thankful for, aren’t we being ungrateful by complaining or admitting that these things can be stressful?

Then, there’s the feeling that we shouldn’t burden other people with our problems. So, when someone asks how you’re doing, what is the typical reply? “Fine.” We don’t really believe that when someone asks how we are doing they want the truth. We figure they’re just being nice and using it as a type of greeting, not an invitation to hear our life story or how terribly things are going for us on a particular day. No one wants to be the person who drags everyone else into her drama or depresses people with a sad story.

Finally, society teaches us that having feelings is a sign of weakness. Women in particular are caught in this conundrum as we are already seen as being too emotional. It’s hard enough to be taken seriously by co-workers, educators, and other members of the community. Because we want to be perceived as strong and resilient, that sometimes results in our denying our feelings.

While it’s not good to constantly dwell on negativity, it is also unhealthy to stuff our feelings down and pretend they do not exist. When you ignore your feelings, they will find a way to get you to notice them. This is what I have learned after a couple of years of therapy, and I learned it the hard way. For me, that meant anxiety attacks and physical pain. The best way to explain my experience is that I stored all of my stress into little pockets of pain through out my body. Eventually, I knew something needed to change. I spoke with a therapist and read a lot about stress-relief. Each resource I found recommended a variety of different things, but one was a constant: journaling. There are so many types of journaling you can do, but that is for a later post. Today, I want to focus on writing in an effort to deal with stress and feelings.

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Now, here comes the obvious disclaimer– if you are struggling with depression or anxiety, seek help from a professional. This blog post is meant to give some insight into how journaling is a positive self-care tool; it is not meant to substitute for professional counseling. I have had a great experience working with my therapist and believe everyone could benefit from having a person to talk to who specializes in helping people work through their problems and feelings.

So, what can you do to process some of those negative feelings? Journaling.

One of the many ways I take care of myself is journaling. There are lots of stories of people who have overcome chronic, stress-related pain and a number of other mental health issues with the therapeutic effects of writing in a journal. Luckily, you don’t need a prescription to journal. It has no side effects and the supplies can be very inexpensive- just a pen and paper will do. Also, you can do this on your schedule. Write as often and as much as you like. There are no rules.

Some journaling ideas to help unpack and process your stress:

• Brain Dump– Take everything that’s running through your mind and write it out as quickly as possible. Don’t be afraid of how whiny you think it sounds or how ungrateful you might appear to others. Just use a stream of consciousness and get it all out. This allows you to safely vent all the frustrations and resentments- anything negative that’s taking up space in your mind and heart. This is your chance to shake your fist at the sky, except metaphorically and on paper.
• Plan to Destroy It– If you worry about writing something that you will be embarrassed to read later (or think someone else might find it) but you know you need to purge it from your mind, write with the intent of immediately destroying it. That will give you the freedom to get it all out on paper where you can both see it and get rid of it. Destroying what you write may also help you feel empowered over the stressful situation you’ve written about- it can be reduced to words and those words can be destroyed. It doesn’t have as much power as you thought. How to destroy it? I like using our family shredder for this sort of thing. You can also just tear it up and throw it away. Be safe about this. If you want to burn the paper, you should not be doing this in places where other things can be set on fire, and you don’t want to light paper or stationary products that could release caustic chemicals. More on that below.
• Use Journaling Prompts– You can find these all over the internet- a quick Google search will bring up a host of them. They are basically suggestions – like little essay assignments. Try Google searches such as “Journaling prompts for mental health,” Journaling prompts for anxiety,” “Journaling prompts for self-reflection,” etc. You get the idea. There are so many prompts you can try and many just require you to write a few lines.
• Write Out Lists. Sometimes we need to validate our feelings about certain things, and lists are a great way to do just that. For example, list 5 things that you fear or list things that worry you about your kids. What helps is to take those lists and respond to them by thinking about how unlikely some of those fears or worries are to happen. You can also list out things you have overcome or strengths that you have. I recommend having a positive list for every negative one you write. Finally, use lists to figure out what is and what is not working for your life.
• List Out What You Want to Will Into Being. This one is a little out there, but stick with me. What are the good things that you want for your life? What are your goals and aspirations? What are your wildest dreams? Write them out. There is power in words, and just putting them in writing and seeing them on a regular basis will prompt you to do things to make them a reality.

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Best Journaling Supplies

As I said, journaling does not have to be an expensive self-care tool. You an easily grab an old notebook, whatever pen or pencil you have lying around, and just start writing. But, I have found that I am more likely to stick with a journaling routine if I have stationary items that are easy to use, pretty to look at, and generally make me happy. Here are some supplies I recommend:

Journals

I try to journal twice a day- once in the morning and once before bed. For my morning journal, nothing has been more satisfying than using a Stalogy notebook. I’ve praised this notebook in the past, but I will say again that the thin, cream-colored paper, teeny light grey grid, and compact size make it perfect for writing a lot of stuff on one page. Most every morning, I use it to write about how I’m feeling, 5 things I’m grateful for, and 10 long-term goals I have. Here is the notebook I used last year- I loved the powder-blue cover. (#Ad)

If you end up getting a Stalogy notebook, the A5 size can be placed in a protective (and let’s be honest, pretty) cover such as this one, which has a satin-like cloth material, ribbon book marks, several pockets to hold small notes and business cards, and two pen loops (#Ad):

For a nighttime journal, I decided I wanted paper that was truly beautiful even when there was no writing in it. The notebooks by Papaya Art company are perfect for this. I’m currently using one similar to this:

I am a fan of spiral bound notebooks, since I can store my pen in the spiral. My current one is a 9″ x 7″ notebook with closely-spaced lines, so I’m writing on half a page per entry. After that one is filled up, I plan to try a smaller one like this, which is 5″ x 7″ (#Ad):

Of course, there are hard-bound notebooks, leather bound ones, and disc-bound versions. Use what works for you. Here are some examples of each. Book bound journals have a sturdy surface built in to the book which means you can write on it anywhere- in bed, on the couch, wherever.(#Ad):

A good leatherbound journal is flexible and easy to tote around.(#Ad):

Disc bound journals have the benefit of customizing them even after you’ve started writing in the pages. Each page is held in place by the discs but are easily removed, which means you can pull them out without much mess and swap them into other disc notebooks or destroy the page.(#Ad):

So, I said to be careful with writing things down and burning them. I don’t recommend this product for those times when you’ve written a novel’s-worth of angsty prose, but if you need to see a few words burn, try Flying Wish Paper. The small squares of paper are meant to launch your wishes into the universe, but they make a safe way of sending any words up in smokes. They are meant to be burned, they do so quickly and safely indoors, and they come with directions for using them. (#Ad)

Or, if you plan to just shred the paper, there are a few home office shredders on the market right now. Ours is old, but it is very similar to this one from Amazon (#Ad):

Pens

Of course it’s important to have something you’re comfortable writing with. I’ve said it in countless other posts, but I have to say it again, the Frixion line of erasable pens are my favorite for any kind of writing. I use them in my planners, for taking notes at work, and in my journals. They erase beautifully and come in all sorts of colors and markers. Here are a few faves from the Frixion line by Pilot (#Ad):

These are my favorite pens as they are retractable, have no caps to lose, and have a clip that can hold it into a spiral-binding. You can also buy refills for the ink! (#Ad):

The Color Sticks feel great to write with, but they require having a pen loop added to your journal since the cap does not have a clip. They are also disposable, so once they’re done, you can toss them out. (#Ad):

Of course, if you don’t care about being able to erase your writing, there are a lot of great pens out there for journaling. Here are some popular ones that I still use for some of my journaling:

Who doesn’t love a Papermate Flair Pen? They have a felt-tipped nib that writes smoothly and they come in a ton of colors. Just be sure your paper can handle the ink as they can sometimes bleed through on thin paper. (#Ad)

Pilot G2 Gel Pens are also great writing pens. They have bold gel ink that dries quickly and they glide smoothly onto the page. The also come in a variety of colors, including pastel and metallic (which would work well on black paper)! (#Ad)

Another highly recommended pen is the Papermate Ink Joy line. They also write smoothly, come in lots of colors, and have bright gel ink. They also have a gripable housing that makes them easy to hold. (#Ad)

Page Markers

You should also have a way to easily mark your pages so you can find where to begin writing your next journal entry. Some journals that are book-bound will come with a complementary ribbon, but the spiral and disc-bound versions do not. For that I recommend having book marks or some other page markers such as these:

Pretty book marks make me want to open my journals and work in them (#Ad):

I also enjoy using paper clip page markers. These are some of my favorites that I use in my journals and planners. (#Ad):

Setting the Mood

Finally, music or soothing sounds can put you in the mood to write. I listen to music or will sometimes use nature sounds like ocean waves to inspire me. I’m a bit obsessed with my Amazon Echo devices. You first need an Echo to use these devices in your home. (#AD):

I have an Echo Dot in my bedroom that I now use as my alarm clock and streaming music device. I play some sort of inspiring music or sound with it each time I journal, and I use it for guided meditation every morning! (#Ad):

I hope these ideas have inspired you to try writing as a way to help relieve stress and process the many feelings we sometimes are tempted to push away or ignore. Along with other self-care routines, regularly journaling can help you to release some of the stress and start seeing the silver linings around your clouds. Do you regularly use a journal? Any supplies or journaling techniques you can share? Leave a comment below!

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