Keeping Goals Flexible: Reassessing When to Change, Power Through, or Let Go of Our Goals

We are a little over a month into 2021. And that means that a lot of goals and resolutions may have gone to the wayside.

The reason I say that is because most folks who adopt new goals or resolutions tend to run out of steam after a few weeks. And, that’s not a criticism.

It’s hard to maintain the excitement that we have for our goals when we are first setting them, and I think this new year has made it even harder. The beginning of 2021 seemed like it held so much promise, if just because it meant we were no longer in 2020.

But, the new year came and went, and in a lot of ways things either stayed the same or felt worse for many of us (especially those of us living in the U.S.). Although things have calmed down in terms of politics for the time being and there’s a vaccine for the virus on the way, it’s hard not to feel like we are still stuck in the same situation as we were in before ball dropped on New Year’s Eve.

I know that I have sometimes felt this way. After over 3 years of using a Cultivate What Matters PowerSheets planner to plan out my goals, I have found there were times that I found a goal was simply not fitting in with my life.

That said, there is definitely hope that we can carry with us. And, with a little tweaking and soul-searching, we might be able to see whether the goals we set for ourselves at the end of 2020 are the ones that will truly serve us in the new year.

Why We Abandon Goals

There are several reasons we might be abandoning our goals so quickly into a new year. Here are some of the main ones:

Loss of Momentum. We go into goal-setting with a sense of excitement and possibility. We may have taken time off to work on our goals and anything seems possible once we place all the things we want to do on paper. However, once we get back to our regular lives, we might find that the shiny newness of the goal has worn off and it’s just not enough to keep us motivated. That loss of momentum might result in our giving ourselves permission to slack off on keeping up the habits and routines we had set out for ourselves in achieving that goal.

Too Many Changes at Once. Many of us all go into goal setting like a hungry person at a buffet. We load up our plates with everything all at once only to realize once we get started that we’ve taken on more than one person can handle. Multi-tasking is a bit of fantasy. No one can truly focus (or focus well) on more than a couple of goals at a time. Taking on several big goals with lots of daily or weekly habits to make progress toward it will lead us to burn out quickly.

Not the Right Season. Sometimes we choose goals that we have always wanted to pursue. These are things that have been our desires and dreams for quite some time, and they are time consuming and require a lot of attention and dedication. But, if our lives are not currently set up for giving that kind of time and attention, we may find ourselves stopping altogether.

Life Throws You a Curveball. This one is similar to the “right season” reason above. The difference is that at the time you set the goal (days, weeks or months before you got started), you believed you were in the right season to pursue this dream. But, something has happened that has derailed this plan. It could be the loss of a job or home, a loved one’s illness or passing, or one’s own illness or injury. When this happens, it feels as though there’s no point in going on with the goals you had set.

We’re Not Up for the Journey. Some goals seem like they are exactly what we want. They appear to fit in line with our values and hold the promise of a future we have always dreamed of. But, once we start to figure out the steps it takes to achieve this goal, we find that we may not want it enough to pursue those first steps. So, if your goal is to become a writer but you do not want to invest the time it takes to write 500+ words a day, your goal will seem impossible. Or, if you want to start a business but will first have to learn some basic finance principles, something you’ve never enjoyed doing before, you may feel you are out of your league and should just give up.

Fear. This is a big one. This can be a fear of failure – if we don’t start, we will never suffer the embarrassment of having failed. Or, the fear that comes from comparing ourselves to others. Remember that quote about it’s being the thief of joy? It can also steal your motivation to pursue a goal if you keep measuring your progress against someone else who’s taken a similar path. Whatever the fear is, it can freeze us in our tracks.

Tips for Keeping Your Goals Flexible

No matter what your reason for feeling stuck in your goals may be, the important thing is to remain honest with yourself and see what might be holding you back. There is no right or wrong way to set and make progress toward your goals.

There are also no right or wrong goals for you. (I mean, I will say that if your goal is to commit a terrible crime, that is a wrong goal, but hopefully, your goals are all legitimate and above-board 😊 ). The only requirement is that the goals you are pursuing are ones that will bring some measure of improvement to your life.

Here are some things to think about when deciding whether change, keep or abandon goals that you’ve lost steam on:

Go Back to Your Why. For each goal, ask yourself why you set this goal for yourself. What did you hope this goal would bring to your life? Did you set the goal out of some obligation? Are you doing it for yourself or for someone else? Or is it a goal that you set for yourself in some prior season and it may not be right for where you are now? Make sure you understand the intention behind each of your goals and see if it is in line with your values as they are right now in your life.

Determine Whether the Goal is Too Ambitious. There is nothing wrong with challenging yourself or pushing yourself to achieve something that is difficult to obtain. In fact, I think we should dream big and try things that lead to personal growth. However, if your goal requires time, energy, and resources that you simply do not have, it may be time to make some changes. Ask yourself if the goal, as you’ve set it, is a realistic one for you in your current life season. If not, see if it’s something that you maybe need to focus on later in your life. Or, it’s possible that the steps you’ve set out for achieving this goal require more time or need to be scaled back or simplified. If there is any way to put off the dream by a little bit to make it more manageable, that might allow you too keep it on your long-term goals list.

Acceptance and Letting Go. For those goals that don’t currently have a place in your life and might bring more frustration and unhappiness in trying to achieve them, it’s okay to accept that and let them go. It doesn’t feel good to admit that you have a goal that no longer fits in with your life plan. You may think this is a failure. But, it will feel even worse to pursue something that isn’t right for you. The best part is that you don’t have to scrap a goal altogether. Set it aside for the moment. Perhaps taking even a few months off from working on it will provide you some new perspective. If you decide to let it go completely, remember that you are being honest and gracious with yourself.

Keep in mind that all of these tips not only apply to the goals themselves but to the habits and routines we have set up to meet those goals. Feel free to try different routines and habits.

If some of what you are doing is not working, get creative and try to find others that do. Our routines and habits need to be flexible as well.

Approaching a Goals Reassessment with a Creative Spirit

I wrote about some of these suggestions in a prior post on tips for doing the prepwork for PowerSheets goal-setting. Ultimately, when we are setting goals, we are engaging in a creative process.

First, coming up with goals in the first place is a creative endeavor. You need to open your mind to the dreams and desires that resonate with your values and sense of self. It’s a personal process but it requires you to think outside the box to find what may be possible for your future.

Second, setting and work on goals is literally a creative process. You are writing, visualizing, and hopefully, if eventually, creating a different situation for your life. In other words, identifying your goals and steps it takes to meet them eventually brings into your life what you want.

All of this is work, so it’s important to be in the right frame of mind. Like any other creative (author, artist, composer, film maker), you need to make space for your creativity to flow. So, as you embark on reassessing your goals try doing some or all of the following:

Self-Care. I’ve written about self-care before (including easy and inexpensive ideas), and I cannot say enough about how important this is to our being able to function well. If we are not in a good place mentally, our creativity and goal-setting will suffer. So, take care of yourself. Before you sit down to reevaluate your goals, make sure that you are well-rested, have nourished your body, and feel at ease with yourself. Goal setting is nearly impossible if you’re upset, frustrated, hungry, or tired.

Set Aside Time. Even though one month of this year has already passed, trying to rush through your goal reassessment is not likely to yield good results or ideas. Give yourself a couple of hours where you can think about your goals without interruption.

Create an Inviting Space. As I noted in that post on doing prep work for Powersheets, making sure your space is set up for goal-setting will make the process go much more smoothly. Just because you are not hunkering down for 30+ pages of perp work doesn’t mean you shouldn’t create the same, inspiring environment for your goals reassessment. So, whatever leads you to feel more openminded and creative is how you should set up your space. Sit in a comfortable spot. Have coffee, tea, or some other enjoyable beverage on hand. Clear a desk or table so you don’t have any distractions. Play music if that helps. Just be sure that it puts you in a reflective and creative spirit.

Review Your Goal-Setting Prep Work. Whether you use Powersheets, another goal-setting planner, or just do this kind of planning on your own, you hopefully have something you have already written or created that will provide you with insight into your thinking about goals. If you have a vision board, which I wrote about in a recent post, take a second look at it. Do the images you chose point you in a certain direction? Does another, more feasible goal emerge from it? Feel free to redo your vision board or switch out some of the images or words.

Find Your Inspiration. Figure out what inspires you- perhaps it’s listening to a podcast, reading a motivational book, revisiting religious texts, or, if you’re a PowerSheets user, using the Goal School resources. Dig into the resources that light that spark of goal-setting excitement for you. Really dig deep and use these as signposts- what are they pointing to? What is it that your heart feels pulled to? That will help you determine whether your current goals are ones that should be changed, left unaltered, or be set aside.

Remember That Your Goals are Not Fixed. They can change at any time and will likely morph and evolve as you continue to check in with yourself. If you want flexibility for your goals, you must be flexible with the ways that you approach them. More importantly, it’s okay for your goals to change. Embrace the changes, and know that whatever you decide your goals should be, they are yours to create.

Do your goals ever change? Are you open to being more creative with you goals? Leave a comment with suggestion for setting and reassessing goals.

* As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. If you click a link and make any purchase on Amazon, I may receive a small commission at no charge to you which will help me maintain this website. 😊

** Images in this post and the graphics were found on Unsplash.

© Plan On The Sunrise, Vidalia Patterson, 2021. No part (including, but not limited to articles, photographs, and graphics) of this site, PlanOnTheSunrise.com, may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the express permission of the copyright owner.