Avoiding Toxic Planning

So, I have a lot of planners and am a self-avowed planner nerd. Planning has become a fun way to destress, play with paper, and keep my life organized. Win. Win. Win.

Planning was the reason I started this blog. I’ve written about planning from nearly every angle I can imagine, and I have tried to remain pretty honest about my planning. Each year, I will share my planner stack, my love of planner accessories, goal planning tools, and reviews of my latest planners.

However, I am not immune to the pitfalls of planning. After years of planning obsessively, I have learned a lot about how planning works for me. More importantly, I’ve realized that while my planners are a helpful tool and fun outlet, I have to remain flexible about my plans and how I use my planners.

At some points, I did push myself really hard when it came to my planning. I obsessively decorated my planners, or I used my planners to overschedule my life. I have spent a lot of money on planning supplies or just spent too much time planning for what it was worth.

All of these ways of overdoing planning led to burnout and frustration. Below, you’ll find my definition of Toxic Planning, some examples of planning pitfalls, and finally some ways to avoid having an unhealthy relationship with your planner.

Toxic Planning

Okay, so I’ll be honest. “Toxic Planning” and “Toxic Planning Syndrome” are pretty much terms I’ve made up. The word toxic is being used to describe a number of phenomena these days (toxic positivity, toxic masculinity), so it felt like a useful way to frame the issue I’ve run across during my years of planning.

Toxic Planning can mean many things, but basically it happens when planning, which should be a fun and useful hobby or practice becomes a negative or unhealthy activity. And if you find yourself feeling this way, you may have Toxic Planning Syndrome.

Here are some of the main ways that planning can become toxic:

You spend more time planning than living out your plans. And, if you’re like me, the more planners you have, the more time adds up when you are planning. Whether you are goal planning, setting up household cleaning routines, or just scheduling out your days, using a planner obsessively can lead to burnout and resentment over the time you would rather be doing something else.

You’re breaking the bank on planners and supplies. Planning does not have to be expensive. On the other hand, you can spend hundreds of dollars each month. Besides the planner, which can range from around $10 at a store like Target to nearly $100 (or more) if buying from premium planner companies, the accessories can add up. Most planner companies sell more than just planners. They have coordinating stickers, washi tape, portfolios, tote bags, and more. This is in addition to small businesses that specialize in certain types of accessories like stickers, pretty page marking clips, and planner covers. Over time, planning products can take a significant bite out of your income.

You live to post. Of course, planning does not have to be a personal project that you keep to yourself. The planner community on social media is incredibly active with some people posting pictures and videos of their planning every day. While it can be fun to share your layouts and planner ideas, the pressure to post and attract followers can be stressful and detract from the experience. What’s worse, you may end up falling prey to comparison- that thief of joy that makes you focus more on what you don’t have than what you do.

You are a perfectionist about your pages. Whether it’s having precise handwriting that looks like a font or decorating pages to look like works of art, the pressure to perfect your planner pages may lead to resentment and frustration. First, because it is time-consuming to maintain that level of excellence in your pages, you’re likely to get exhausted. And second, nobody is perfect. There will always be something about your layout that is slightly out of place or not exactly right, which ruins the sense of satisfaction we have when we’re doing something we love.

Your planner is filled with wall-to-wall text. Planning is more than just writing down some tasks or making pages pretty. For many of us with busy lives, it can be an invitation to over-schedule and over-commit ourselves. Many planners, but especially daily planners, have lots of space for writing down hourly tasks and appointments as well as to do lists and notes. Falling to the temptation to fill every line can leave you feeling like a failure if you don’t get it all done by the end of the day.

You micromanage your days. Along the same line as over-scheduling is micromanaging your time. This happens when we try to determine how many hours in a day we can fill with back-to-back appointments and tasks. Done to the extreme, we can underestimate how long a task will take (or our need for rest). This will also lead to major resentment if some tasks take longer or some unforeseen event leads you to have to change your plan for the day.

Ways to Keep Your Planning Positive

If any of those toxic planning examples resonate with you, there is hope! And, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your beloved planner(s). Below are some antidotes to a toxic planning practice.

Set time limits and prioritize. As the old saying goes, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. We all have the same 24 hours each day to get done what we need to do. Spending an obsessive amount of time on planning will just leave us with less of that time to do the things we’re planning to do. So, schedule a set amount of time for planning each week. Most people set aside time on the weekend to plan for the week ahead and reserve a few minutes each day to plan out to do lists and make sure that appointments are updated. When you schedule your planning time, consider using a timer to keep yourself from overdoing it.

Set a budget and try some money-saving tips. Planning is a way to budget our time. We can apply that same principal to the money we spend on planning supplies. The first thing to do is figure out how much money is reasonable to spend on planner products each month or year. The second thing, is to stick to that budget. It can be hard to do this, particularly if you are on social media and seeing advertisements or other folks using fun new products. Here are some planning-specific tips for saving money:

• Set no-spend days, weeks or months. These are time periods when you promise yourself not to purchase any planner supplies.
• Avoid social media around planner launch dates. Planner companies and their PR teams will flood your feed with drool-worthy images of new planner products, many of which come with free shipping if you purchase a large order’s worth. So, in the spring and fall, try to stay off of social media so your scrolling doesn’t lead to unnecessary purchases.
• Hit unsubscribe. Unsubscribe from email lists for planner companies, which can lure you into overbuying during sales.
• Figure out which are your wants and which are your needs. While you may need a planner for work, the stickers for that planner might fall in the want category. This will help you prioritize which supplies to purchase and which to place on the backburner.
• Use a wish list. Many online shopping sites have a wish list feature where you can save items you’d like to purchase. Either share the list with loved ones when they ask what you’d like for a birthday or other gift-giving event, or use the list to force yourself to wait to see if you really want the item. If you place an item on the wish list and two weeks later, you still feel you need it, at least the purchase will not be an impulse buy.

Limit time on social media. Social media, like everything on the internet, has its benefits and its drawbacks. If scrolling through planner pictures is robbing you of the joy you experienced working in your planner, it might be time to set some limits. Many mobile devices allow you to limit time spent in certain apps. You can also disable notifications, which act as a trigger for many of us to open up a social media feed to see what was newly posted. You can also unfollow pages or people that are leading you to feel dissatisfied with your own planning.

Scale back decorating and supplies. If being a perfectionist is sucking the joy out of planning, it’s time to scale back. Try having more minimalist spreads (fewer stickers, washi, and the like). Use an erasable pen if you are hating the way your page looks like with mistakes or changes. Use one color ink to keep things simple or try pre-assembled sticker kits so you don’t have to spend time putting together a perfect spread. Decorating your planner should be fun, so if it’s feeling like a chore, you have permission to take a break.

Leave white space in your planner. Most of us bought planners so we could feel less overwhelmed with our lives. Unfortunately, getting organized sometimes reveals how much more efficient we can be, which might tempt us to add more tasks to these new openings in our schedules. But, being overscheduled is the reason why so many of us end up exhausted and dissatisfied with life. My rule of thumb is, if I have lots of scheduled tasks (appointments, meetings, etc.), I know I need to reduce the number of to do’s on my list. Prioritizing the importance of your tasks will go a long way in helping you do what needs to get done without feeling like a failure when you are unable to get done everything that fit on your planner page. And, when  you prioritize, you can give yourself permission to not do everything. Remember, a task that can be done later can be migrated onto your next day’s list.

Stay flexible. Also remember that planning in general has its limits. A planner is not an oracle, predicting the exact amount of time we will spend on certain tasks or obligations. We cannot use it to craft a perfect day. It is a tool that we can use to make sure we are on time and being responsible. Be sure to leave time to get things done- overestimate time tasks will take whenever possible. Also, make rest and self-care a priority. This means having space and time in your day for spontaneity (or last-minute, unforeseen events). Remember that each day, no matter how much planning we do, is a blank slate and unpredictable. But, it is also a gift and we can make the most of it by staying flexible and being open to the possibilities of the unexpected.

Planning can be a healthy way to stay on task and have a fun hobby or it can be a toxic activity that leaves us feeling empty and frustrated. Fortunately, a change in mindset and habits can keep it on the positive side. Do you have any tips for planning more positively? Leave them in the comments below!

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** Main post graphic photo, courtesy of Unsplash. Other image credits listed above. Graphics created with Canva.

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